The Driven Woman

Many female solopreneurs start a business with nothing more than a good idea, a lot of passion, and a strong sense of purpose. Then they start collecting free and low-cost information and advice, followed by courses and massive group programs that can get them out of the starting blocks but will leave them stuck, stranded, or spinning their wheels at some point because they don’t actually know what they need to succeed or how to implement the information they have and in what order.  

The bottom line is that every single one of us is experiencing what I call “The Gap”, the space between where you are and where you want to be. It might be aspirational, motivational, financial or simply the ultimate expression of your potential or purpose, but however you define it, the gap is painful, especially if you are idealistic, and have a big bold vision for your business and the mark you want to make in the world. 

So, let’s dig into the 6 common problems that hold women back… 

The first 3 often travel together, like an unholy trinity, but I will address them one at a time because even though they frequently show up in our business and life, we don’t always have the entire cluster fuck to contend with at any given time. 

Procrastination 

You mean to do it. You know you should. It's not even that big a deal, but you just keep putting it off. This pattern of waiting until the last minute is called procrastination. It's very habit-forming, stressful, and causes a lot of shame. The good news is that it's learned behavior and what is learned, can be unlearned. You don't need to wait until you feel more motivated to deal with your procrastination, because putting off something you can start doing now is the whole problem. Just identify the first step and take it. Taking action is habit-forming too.

Perfectionism

Other people may sing your praises, but nothing you ever do feels like it is quite good enough for you. One of the problems with perfectionism is comparing ourselves to others, so try comparing your abilities today to where they were a year ago. Since your internal set point isn't working very well, you can also just decide on an objective measure like the amount of time spent on a task or project, instead of waiting to feel that internal sense of approval. Dealing with perfectionism frees up so much energy and joy, so take the first step. It's worth it.

People-pleasing 

You are the kind of person that is always there for everyone and is known for being dependable and hard-working. You really do try to set boundaries and limits on how much you do for others, but it's just so hard to let anyone down. It's becoming increasingly hard to focus on your own goals and sometimes you really do feel resentful, even though you do what is expected of you anyway. A great way to start unlearning the habit of people-pleasing is deciding for yourself what your limits will be and gaining some practice communicating them to others. Maybe a first step would be to tell that colleague who always asks you to help out that you really can't this time. No excuse, no apology. It is hard at first, but with practice, it gets easier and you gain time, energy, and self-respect in the process.

Distractibility

Most entrepreneurs and creatives have so many ideas on their minds that they have a hard time staying focused. Distracted by social media, their environment, other people and even their own thoughts is a constant struggle. It's time to stop chasing so many rabbits! Learn to recognize what is stealing your attention so you can tame the ones that are holding you back. Creating boundaries means you get your most important stuff done.

Impulsivity

Ordering or buying stuff impulsively instead of thoughtfully can become a real problem. Stop and pause for a moment...